Rebuilding Bridges
by A. Windsor
Summary: "Suddenly, 'it's not cheating because we were broken up', an excuse that had always felt hollow when she used it against her own guilt, means absolutely nothing." Callie and Arizona try to move on.


Title: _Rebuilding Bridges_

Author: A. Windsor

Pairing/Characters: Callie/Arizona

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. My one semester of law school could allow me to legalese this a little more, but it also tells me it's pretty useless. So please don't sue; it's not mine, I'm just playing!

Series: Follow-up to the lovely nefertirioc's _There Are Many Ways to Burn a Bridge_. (Under the M section. Totally worth the read.)

Summary: "Suddenly, _'it's not cheating because we were broken up'_, an excuse that had always felt hollow when she used it against her own guilt, means absolutely nothing." Callie and Arizona try to move on.

Author's Note: It's really, really, really not baby!fic. You don't _have_ to read nefertirioc's fic to understand what's going on here. But you should, if you're into smut, because it's awesome. Beta'd by the absolutely wonderful, weirdy reindeer, savant of BFF crack sex herself, nefertirioc. (whose stuff you should just read in general.)

* * *

><p>Arizona has been acting strange.<p>

Which, yes, of course, makes a lot of sense, since nothing about this situation is normal. She arrived on Callie's doorstep begging for forgiveness, months after abandoning her in an airport, and had been summarily rejected.

It's just that her behavior hasn't been _consistent_, and if Arizona Robbins is one thing in this life (besides fascinatingly sexy, absurdly perky, and frustratingly hard to get over), that thing is _consistent_. Steady. Except for that cut and run in Sea-Tac, of course, but for the most part, Callie has known what to expect from her since she learned all the patterns in their first few months together.

So when Arizona came back and had the door slammed in her face, Callie was expecting two things: for her to cut her losses and hop the next flight to Malawi, or for a tireless, dogged pursuit until Callie caved to how much she really wanted her back. Which, to be perfectly honest, Callie completely planned on doing, once Arizona had suffered for her sins.

This new Arizona, (a little) tanned, hair longer, still just as gorgeous, has chosen neither path. This Arizona has in fact pursued Callie, apologizing, begging, declaring her love. About half the time.

The other half of the time, Arizona can hardly stand to be in the same room as her ex-girlfriend. If they cross paths, Arizona sticks around just long enough for blind panic to cross her face, followed by perhaps some guilt, before she escapes. Once, and Callie thinks she hallucinated this, she might've even whispered a desperate "Oh god, I'm so sorry," as she ducked out of the attendings lounge. The apology had a different tenor from the ones repeated ad nauseum when the other Arizona (who Callie has taken to calling Real-Arizona in her head) corners her in a deserted hallway to tell her she loves her, and that she's there, waiting, as soon as Callie is ready to take her back.

It's terribly disconcerting, and Callie wonders if her beloved blonde developed bipolar or multiple personality disorder from the baking African sun.

* * *

><p>Callie thinks it is perhaps a little immature, and definitely a little intern-y, to have hidden herself away not only in an unused patient room, but behind the curtain, so that no one looking in could notice she was there.<p>

It's just that she wants to chart in peace.

Right after lunch, she'd had a particularly public run-in with Real-Arizona on the ortho floor. Real-Arizona had looked so sweet and earnest and _hot_ that Callie really wanted to give in and take her right there against the nurses' station, broken heart, Africa, and their audience be damned.

Only the memories of weird, Alterna-Arizona stopped her, and now Callie's even more confused than ever. So she's hiding: from both versions of Arizona, from Mark or Cristina coming to pester her about the incident, and from the curious, gossip-y stares from the rest of the hospital.

Her peaceful hideout is soon invaded as the door swings open.

She opens her mouth to call out and alert whoever is there to her presence (hopefully in the least creepy way possible), but her words catch in her throat when she hears Arizona's voice.

"Okay, okay, okay. We'll talk about it, Teddy."

"There's nothing to talk about," Teddy insists. "It's been a whole week; we don't need to be awkward anymore."

Callie knows she shouldn't be eavesdropping, but revealing herself would only be stranger at this point.

"Look," Teddy continues, "It was weird at first, yeah, but we were both really drunk, and it was good. For me, at least."

_No_. No. Callie has to be interpreting those words incorrectly. There's no way that Arizona...

"You're the only real friend I have here, and we shouldn't mess that up because we got drunk and had sex."

The words process slowly for Callie, and she bites her tongue so hard it draws blood. Her entire world tilts. She closes her eyes, but she still sees imagined visions of Arizona, _her_ Arizona, fucking Teddy Altman. Or maybe even worse: Teddy touching her Arizona, eliciting the same reactions Callie still dreams about.

A week ago.

Suddenly, _'it's not cheating because we were broken up'_, an excuse that had always felt hollow when she used it against her own guilt, means absolutely nothing.

"You're right," Arizona speaks up with a sigh. "This doesn't have to be awkward."

"I think we put in the requisite awkward time," Teddy says.

Arizona laughs a little, affectionately, and Callie fights the urge to cry, if only because the sound would reveal her presence and make everything even worse.

"I'm not going all Attachment Barbie on you, I promise. The only pining going on here is you for Callie."

"And you see how much good that is doing. I don't think she'll ever forgive me."

"I'm going to hug you now, and that's _all_ the comfort you're getting."

Arizona laughs again, but everything sounds so far away.

"Come on," Arizona says as the door opens again. "I'll buy you coffee, and you can explain to me why it seemed like a good idea to marry a patient."

Their voices, already distant over the pounding of Callie's heart in her ears, fade into oblivion as the door swings shut behind them.

Callie finally lets the sob out and barely manages to get out an SOS text to Mark with her location.

The rational part of her brain is screaming that jealousy is stupid and ugly, and they weren't together, and this isn't a betrayal, and _she did the same damn thing_. But the rational part of her is quickly losing the battle against the part of her that had once believed (and was starting to believe again) that she would be the last woman to touch Arizona. The silly, romantic part of her that had thought, ever since she'd arrived broken and begging for forgiveness on her doorstep, that this was just another bump on the road, another hoop to jump through on their path to happily ever after.

Callie gives up the fight, pulls her legs to her chest on the gurney, and lets the hot tears pour out of her.

* * *

><p>"What is it? What happened? Is someone... Oh, god, Cal, is someone dead?"<p>

Mark stands, hand still on the curtain from where he yanked it back, taking in the sight of his sobbing best friend, and his protective instincts are on high alert. He sits down beside her on the hospital bed quickly, reaching for her hand.

"Arizona fucked Teddy," Callie finally manages to get out, wiping at her face angrily. "A week ago." She raises her eyes to Mark's face, expecting sympathy and warmth.

Instead, he's got that stupid, glazed eye look he gets when she drops half a hint about her sex life with other women.

"Um."

"Mark!"

"No, that's, um... terrible. That's, such a... _Goddammit, that's hot_."

"_Mark_!"

He pats her shoulder affectionately. Callie opens her mouth to continue, but Mark gets that goofy grin again.

"Clearly Robbins and I have the same taste in women. Do you think she'll go for Lexie next? Or maybe I should sleep with Robbins. Complete the circle."

Callie hits him, hard, across the shoulder. Twice. Three times.

"Ow, Torres!"

"Get out."

"No, you're right, I'm sorry. You're obviously really upset. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Get. Out."

"C'mon, Cal, I'm sorry. You know I can't help it sometimes."

"Get out, and don't talk to me again until you can do it without thinking about my girlfriend with the same face you have when you think about porn."

Mark stands, knowing he's not going to win this one. He pauses, though, because he knows she's going to need to hear the next part in the long run, even if she doesn't want to hear it right now.

"She's not your girlfriend."

"_Mark_," Callie growls.

"No, I'm going to say this, and then I'm going to leave you alone until you're ready to talk. She's not your girlfriend, even though she's asked for you to take her back several times."

"So this is my fault?"

"No, no. I'm saying this isn't really anyone's fault. And maybe now you can actually have a conversation _with_ her, instead of torturing Robbins until you think she's embarrassed herself enough to get back into your good graces."

"That's not-"

"It is. It's totally what you're doing. And I was all for it. Maybe it's time to try a different tactic."

Callie takes all that tough love in and wipes her slowing tears again, looking up at Mark.

"Mark! You still have the porn face on," she yells, throwing her pen at him.

"I'm sorry!" he yells as he escapes to the door. "It's still hot!"

* * *

><p>Callie eventually gets herself together, rationalizing her jealousy into the back of her mind long enough to get to the restroom and wash her face, then drop off her charts and slip out of the hospital. She wants to go home and drink tequila until the very idea of Teddy and Arizona together doesn't plague her with every breath she takes.<p>

No such luck, however, because the fates (and Arizona's goddamn stubbornness) have conspired to let her wander unwittingly into her apartment building elevator and come face to face with her ex. Stupid subletters.

"Calliope," Arizona smiles brightly. Apparently Real-Arizona is all she's going to get today. Awesome. Just when she needed the weird, Alterna-Arizona who clammed up and ran away. Her cheeks are a little pink from the outside cold, but Callie can only imagine the way her skin flushes with arousal, and how the last time it did, it wasn't Callie causing it.

"No. You don't get to talk to me."

Arizona startles, and her brow furrows at the coldness of Callie's voice. Anger. Feigned disinterest. She's handled all of those in the last week. The cold is something altogether new.

"Are you okay? I mean, I know things are not great between us right now, but I really want to be here for you, so if you need to talk, I'm right here, and-"

"You slept with Teddy," Callie bites out as the doors slide open.

Arizona freezes in place, and Callie quickly escapes towards Mark's door, fumbling for her keys and trying hard to hide the tears on her face. Despite her best efforts, she chances a look back at the elevator and sees Arizona still standing stock still, destroyed, as the doors begin to slide closed again. At the last moment, her arm reaches out to stop the door, and she manages to escape.

"No," Arizona says, anger starting to enter her voice as she stalks down the hall. "No! You don't get to drop that bomb and then run away."

"Wasn't my bomb to drop," Callie counters shakily, head back down as she stares at the keys in her hands and wills herself to stop shaking long enough to get the key in the lock and get inside.

"No," Arizona repeats, hands covering Callie's firmly. "No. I'm done letting you keep me at arm's length. It's your turn to talk. We can't move forward if I'm just repeating the same thing, over and over, praying you'll say something back."

"What is there to say?" Callie demands, shaking her off. "You. Fucked. Her. You left me in an airport, and then you fucked your best friend."

"That's funny; I'm pretty sure you did one of those things, too."

Arizona's snarky tone dries up the rest of Callie's tears, and she turns around, anger flashing in her eyes.

"You don't get to be flippant here!"

Arizona sighs.

"Please. Let's just get inside our apartment and have a freaking conversation."

"It's my apartment."

"Seriously? That's what you want to fight about right now. Fine. Whatever. Let's go into the apartment, and not cause a spectacle in the hallway, and we can fight about whatever you want."

The key finally makes it into the lock, and Callie debates just running into Mark's apartment. But she knows in there she'll just be plagued by images of Arizona and Teddy, and at least across the hall she can take it out on Arizona. And maybe, just maybe, there's a slim chance to salvage all of this.

She crosses and waits impatiently for Arizona to unlock the door.

She's standing too close, though, and Arizona brushes against her as she inserts the key. Her touch sets Callie on fire, even through layers of clothing, but all she can think of is if Teddy felt the same.

She jumps away and sees Arizona flinch.

They make it into the apartment, and Callie chooses the offensive, stalking into the living room and wheeling on Arizona.

"I can't believe you spent all week trying to convince me that we were meant to be together. After you slept with her."

"You slept with Mark!"

"While you were in Africa! For three years. We were broken up."

"Exactly. We were broken up."

"No. No, it's different. How long did you wait? One hour? Two?"

"How long did you wait?"

"It's different!" Callie repeats.

"How? How is it different?"

"You were gone. We were done, forever as far as I knew. When you fucked her, we were... We were on the way to getting back together."

"Really? I didn't get the memo! Must've misinterpreted that door you slammed in my face."

"Oh come on."

"Or is the real difference that Teddy is a woman? You're upset that I slept with another woman, but I'm not allowed to be angry you slept with a man? Why? Different plumbing so it doesn't count?"

"You left me!"

"You slammed the door in my face!"

"Because you left me!"

"We're not getting anywhere," Arizona sighs, toeing off her boots and finally throwing her keys onto the counter.

She takes a minute to place her shoes by the door, and it's a moment that is so endearingly Arizona that Callie can almost imagine that the last months haven't happened, that they're instead just having a little spat about whose turn it is to clean the shower. Nope, instead they're having it out over whose turn it is to have sex with their best friend. Callie snorts at her own little joke.

"What? Really, what right now is so funny?"

Callie shakes her head.

"I just never expected to be having this conversation with you, Miss Moral High Ground. You, who had such a problem with me being friends with Mark after finding out that we had slept together."

"And yet, who's the first person you tumble into bed with?"

"I was drunk and upset!"

"So was I!"

They stare at each other, flushed with anger. Arizona's glare falters, just for a second, and her eyes are wet when she meets Callie's gaze again. Neither is sure which takes the first step closer, but it is definitely Callie who reaches out with her strong, bone-breaking hands and roughly pulls Arizona against her, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss while clinging desperately to either side of her face.

It's everything they've both been craving since that fateful moment in Sea-Tac, and yet, _so not_.

Arizona finally fights off the familiar lust because it's not accompanied by the usual love, and that just feels wrong. She pushes, hard, against Callie's chest, until there's a good foot between them, even if she immediately mourns the loss of contact.

"No! Not like this."

"I can't stand that you touched her. I don't think I can look at her, work with her, without thinking about it."

"Welcome to the club."

They continue to stare, the taste of each other still on their lips, wondering where exactly they go from here.

"I didn't... I didn't mean to, Calliope," Arizona says, the fight retreating from her. "But you... It wasn't the homecoming I was expecting. Maybe I was naïve; but I wasn't expecting a door to the face. And the realization of my worst nightmare. So I went to Teddy's, just looking for a place to sleep. That's it. But there was _Pretty Woman_, and commiserating, and gin. Lots of gin."

Callie feels nauseous at what Arizona doesn't say, the implication of what comes next. She puts a hand to the back of the couch to steady herself.

Arizona's brow wrinkles, remembering how much gin. And the puking in the morning. Though she's pretty certain that was a mixture of hangover and soul-crushing guilt. She hadn't slept with another woman, any other woman, since her first date with Callie. Hadn't really wanted to. And she'd certainly never wanted to drunkenly revenge-fuck her best friend. She had felt (still feels) like her world was spinning out of control.

"I'm still fuzzy about what happened, but... I didn't mean to hurt you. I mean, I did, I guess. But I don't like that I did."

"I think I like seeing you like this," Callie says softly.

"Um, like what?"

"_Human_. Down from that damn pedestal."

"I didn't put myself on a pedestal," Arizona objects.

"You did, a little, but I did, too. You claimed the moral high ground, and I kept you up there. I wanted to be able to be like you. To love like you do."

"Calliope, don't. I-"

"I'm not the jealous type. If I was, maybe I wouldn't have been so blindsided by the whole Izzie Stevens thing. And when you and I were together, I didn't have to be. I never doubted that you loved me and only me. Until you ditched me-"

"In an airport, I know. And I've said I was sorry. I didn't want you to-"

"Let me finish," Callie demands, knowing she has to get it out now, in the honest calm between the screaming. "When I heard, that you and Teddy..." She swallows, unable to finish the thought. "Arizona, I've never felt that way before, but I'm pretty sure it was jealousy. And it was ugly. The thought of you, and her, it..." She shudders.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but it's exactly how I feel about you and—Wait. How did you hear? Who told you?"

"Crap," Callie says under her breath, which only earns a more searching stare from Arizona. She was really hoping to get through this without revealing this part. "The patient room. Today."

"_What?_"

"I was hiding in there. From you. And the gossip."

"So you heard..."

"All about the awkward."

"And you didn't say anything? You just sat there?"

"Hey, at least I had the decency to tell you about Mark myself! As soon as I could. You spent all week pretending like something hadn't completely changed. Like the situation wasn't different now. If I hadn't overheard, would you have ever told me? What was the plan? Would you have ever told me? Or was I just supposed to live the rest of our lives, laughing and joking with Teddy never knowing she'd felt my girlfriend inside her?"

Arizona closes her eyes at the renewed assault.

"No, no. I would've told you!"

"When?"

"I don't know," Arizona shouts. "I don't know. It's not like you really wanted to talk to me at all, especially not about some stupid drunken decision. I still can't believe I did it, and I was scared that if I told you, then that was it. All our chances would be gone." Her voice gets softer, terrified of the answer to her next question. "Are they, Calliope? Are all our chances gone?"

"I don't know, Arizona," Callie says, defeated. "I just don't know. I don't know where we go from here. I don't know if I can get over this."

"Seriously? I forgave _you_. I was ready to put it behind us and go on, after you slept with the _one person_ I spent our entire relationship telling you that I was terrified of you sleeping with."

"I didn't know I even had to worry about you and Teddy! And you haven't forgiven me. You wanted to use it as leverage for the rest of our lives."

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it? Don't you love being the one who's always right? The one always picking up Callie's messes?"

"What? No."

"No?" Callie asks, brow quirked in challenge, arms crossed over her chest.

"No!"

They're in a standoff again, hackles raised _again_, and suddenly Callie feels so tired. She thinks they could spend the rest of their lives trapped in this apartment, having this same circular argument.

And then she gets it. It's circular because they can meet each other blow for blow, sin for sin. Callie was a passive-aggressive brat, so Arizona left her in an airport, so Callie slept with Mark, so Arizona slept with Teddy... It's a vicious cycle, and they have to break it. They have to fix it or completely move on. Callie can't spend the rest of her life having the same argument, hurting each other until they feel even. How can they ever be more even than right now?

Lowering her crossed arms, Callie tries her best to meet Arizona's eyes.

"Do you really think that we can move past this?"

"Yes. _Yes_. Because I love you, and I know you still love me. And nothing else matters. I mean, it does. But not really, not in the big picture. Not if we decide that we can move past this together. Start over."

"A clean state?"

"Yes," Arizona whispers, eyes finally, once again full of the hope she'd displayed upon her return.

"You wouldn't rather be with her?"

"_No_. Calliope, no. And... him?"

"God, no. No contest."

"Maybe we should pick up and move away from all our drama. Start fresh."

"Yeah, that worked out so well for us last time," Callie snarks, but this time it is infused with the hope she is finally starting to feel again. She offers her hand, a silly gesture. "Equal footing?"

Arizona takes her hand and shakes on it. "Equal footing." Then she tugs Callie forward into a tight hug. She's not sure they're ready for much more right now, but she can't go another second without feeling her Calliope in her arms.

Callie holds her close, burying her face in the long blonde curls.

"I'm sorry," Arizona promises in her neck.

And even though she's been repeating those words for seven long days, they've never sounded so true to Callie as right now.

"Me, too. I never want to hurt you again."

"I don't know that we'll can keep that promise, but we can try hard. But if you ever touch anyone, ever again: bricks. Bricks all around."

Callie laughs, and Arizona can feel it echo throughout her body.

"That goes for you, too."

"Deal," Arizona smiles, squeezing her tight before pulling away but sliding her hands down to link with Callie's. "Fresh start?"

"Fresh start. Which means I would like to take you to dinner tomorrow. For our first date."

"Really?"

"Yep. We nailed the beginning, right? We should do it again. Take it slow."

"Okay."

"Okay. But first, some ground rules? Fresh start means no dragging up old stuff. We have to find new stuff to fight about."

"Alright. That shouldn't be hard," Arizona teases tentatively.

"And I'm going to need you to not have lunch with Teddy for awhile. At least until I can make myself stop planning her murder."

Arizona tenses and opens her mouth to object.

"And I'll stop eating with Mark, too."

Arizona relaxes and reluctantly nods. "I guess we're eating lunch together or with Bailey for the foreseeable future, huh?"

"She'll love that."

"She will. But Calliope, I know we need this break from them, I do. But I never want to look at another woman. You're the only one I want to be with."

"Me too. We'll just, take it slow?"

"Okay."

"Wait, if I can't even eat lunch with Mark, I think I'm going to need a new place to live. Which could complicate the slow thing."

Arizona grins and squeezes her hands. "We'll take turns on the couch. I'll even go first."

"Or we could build a wall of pillows and share the bed."

"Oh no. We need a door. No pillows could keep me away from you."

Callie laughs. "Okay there, tiger. I'm going to kiss you now, just a little bit, and then I'm going to go get my stuff. Will you be able to control yourself?"

They kiss again, relatively chastely, and it's full of promise. Their nerves flutter in their stomachs, and both have to fight off the thoughts that recently the lips they are kissing were touching others. But still.

Despite it all, it feels like coming home.

* * *

><p>el fin<p> 


End file.
